Ethnicity – I am biracial

So here’s some tea,

I am a product of a biracial couple; my mother is Canadian with Irish descent and my father was born and raised in Jamaica. I resemble my mother but have a lot of my father’s features. Such as the caramel complexion, curly hair and dermatosis papulosa nigra (small black or brown moles on the neck and face)

Growing up in Toronto, ethnicity was never brought it. Maybe because no one cared but when we moved out of the city to the suburbs I could tell there was a divide. I’m not speaking in terms of segregation but you can tell everyone was a bit more inclined to know your background there. I was too dark to be considered white but too light to be considered black.

‘Light skin’ was what I was referred to as. In a strange way being biracial put you on the outs. I had many moments in which I struggled with my identity. The constant desire of wanting to touch and talk about my hair drove me up the wall. As a result I shaved my hair off (Halle Berry style) not once but twice! As India Arie said “I am not my hair” I was a person and a soul that lived within. It’s crazy to look back and realize that struggle I had.

When my father was present in our lives he would make sure we understood our culture and also that the N word was never to be used. It was not only racist but distasteful to use knowing the history behind it (10 hours of the Roots dvds made sure of that)

Therefore if anyone that’s knows me understands that if you’re Black, White, Hispanic or Asian I don’t care what you are never use that word around me. I even skip the word in hip hop and rap songs.

The older I got the more I embraced both sides of myself. But in the eyes of society I am a black woman and I am proud of that. Even in genetic testing, although I may be biracial we were told that cord blood is limited due to the mixture of our ethnic background. Crazy right!

On another note after becoming a mom myself, I never realized what my mother had to deal with when she out in public with us. She would tell me all the time no one believed we were her kids if my father wasn’t around. Many people mistaken her for the babysitter or nanny. She has always looked quite young, so I always laughed and shrugged that off until now. In recent events Ive been stopped in the grocery store to not only to tell me how cute Olessia is but to ask if she was actually mine. (Seriously … you think I’m this child chauffeur, of course she’s mine) the utter shock fills their faces when I say yes. I don’t know how I should feel….

Olessia has hazel eyes, very fair skin and golden brown hair, which is mostly straight but has a tiny curl to it. Many of her features are from her father; funny how genetics work. Her father is Polish with dirty blonde hair and blue eyes. Strange thing is no one ever stops him to question if Olessia belongs to him. Why me ? because of our difference in hair texture or the complexion of our skin. It’s a bit bothersome because in today’s society where pretty much everyone is biracial you’d think people’s reactions would be different.

I would never want my daughter to feel the a complexity about her ethnicity. She will know and understand all aspects of her background and here’s hoping never feels on the outs of any group because she’s an amazing little human being.

I don’t know if any of you felt this way but would love to know!


Mom Fail Fridays – Give me boobie NOW!

So here’s some tea,

Oops I did it again…. another fail. With a million things on my mind and trying to get everything done, I didn’t realize we’ve been out of the house for more than three hours.

Olessia was yelling at me and to be honest it was making me more anxious to hurry up and finish. The yelling started to get a bit much, so I just assumed her teeth were bugging her and she needed comfort. As soon as I put her in my arms she attacks the milk bags, apparently It’s boobie juice time. As an breastfed baby who clearly eats whenever she wants to I didn’t realize she might be hungry during our busy afternoon (faillllllllll).

With my momma superpower of multitasking and my determination to finish my errands, I thought I could do this no problem ….. sounds simple right. Nope because I didn’t want to go find the bathroom I ended up finding a corner in the men’s clothing section (great spot I know) and whipped the boob out. I was desperately trying to cover her up but she wasn’t having it, knocking off anything and everything.

As you can tell, not the easiest thing to do especially when you’re not wearing nursing friendly clothing. My mother, who was with us was laughing and taking pictures while people are watching and staring at us. Nothing to see here just a hungry baby! Next time I have to remember to bring some snacks and pay attention to the damn time!

In all, I’d look like a crazy mess for her any day as long as she’s fed and happy.

Hope you got a quick giggle out of that fail!


Have a good weekend xoxo

Judgement free zone – Mommy shame

So here’s some tea,

We’ve all dealt with some sort of mommy shade or shame, from the day we found out we were pregnant to the rearing of our little ones. It’s enviable, it will happen if you like it or not. Trust me I wish it wouldn’t happen. It would be nice if as parents, grandparents and damn well as human beings we can refrain from sticking our judgey nose in other people’s life choices.

I’ve experienced shade throughout my pregnancy even till now. Oh man, the day everyone found out we were having a girl. Is it me or do you notice a difference of people’s excitement for you depending on the gender?

As a female myself I can say without a doubt girls rock! Eh okay maybe not every aspect of it but in general we are pretty bad ass. And Yes we probably will try for a boy eventually but if we have another girl yay! Glitter parties all around.

Having a daughter is a blessing, so don’t you ever disregard my little warrior princess she will do amazing things. And for those who have a misogynistic and sexist view of having a male heir to pass the family name on; chill out. We aren’t royalty my daughter will do the name proud (clearly I’m passionate about it)

A few subjects I’ve recently talked about were postpartum bodies, breastfeeding and cosleeping. You don’t understand the amount of judgement that is tagged along with pretty much all of them.

“you’re going to have a mom bod”

Well no guff but there’s nothing negative about that. I don’t look like a swimsuit model and I don’t plan to. I’m comfortable with how I look and my man doesn’t mind the sight either, so I’m golden Pony-boy. If you don’t want to look at my saggy boobs and stretchy tummy in a bikini don’t look because I’m about to bay watch in this place (cue slow motion)

“You’re still breastfeeding ?”

“How long do you plan to breastfeed?”

“You want to self wean? Why? “

“Formula fed? really you couldn’t breastfed?”

“It’s more healthier to breastfed”

Okay first off I was a formula baby and my daughter is a breast milk baby. We are both more than fine and healthy. Which ever you choose you know best for your child. Breastfeeding is not only physical but emotional. Many things can hinder lactation. Therefore, when some moms can’t produce there is a lot more going on than you think so hush and please don’t judge. This isn’t a competition of which is the best, do what’s best for you and your baby! Forget the rest.

Cosleeping and raising your little one is where I’m at today. My daughter sleeps in her crib attached to our bed. If you don’t like that then that’s fine, you aren’t sleeping there so it’s not your concern. Raising your little one and disclipne is new to me. This is my first baby so I’m figuring it out as I go but she’s young and doesn’t quite understand “no” yet without giggling.

I still get those judgey looks in the supermarket when she’s gets fussy or the turned up faces when she gets her way. It’s funny because it’s always the ones without children or elderly people that have an issue. It makes me laugh though when you pass another mom and their child is being just as loud. You end up making eye contact with each other and a smirk as some sort of solidarity of the struggles of parenthood.

Moms stop judging each other, we are all trying to figure it out.

Everyone else piss off please 🙂


Heaven sent (basic) activities for a busy baby

So here’s some tea,

Keeping your bubs entertained is task all on its own. If your little one is like mine who is very active and constantly needs to be occupied, you can understand. With the 1 year mark just around the corner, Olessia is discovering something new everyday. I made it my mission to find things to tickle her fancy and to give momma’s arms a break. I actually found a few toys and activities that worked for us. They aren’t crazy and over the top activities, just basic things that keeps Olessia busy!


This 3 in 1 Trike has been a heaven sent to put it lightly. For a few months now she’s had an issue with being in her stroller, if she wasn’t napping. We bought this little bad boy and as long as she’s in her trike she’s distracted, happy and stunting.

IKEA shape sorter

We were in ikea one day and found this toy in the baby section. I was like this would be good for a cognitive activity and believe me is it ever! She loves when she figures out the right shapes, looks up at me and smiles. My heart explodes! This little toy keeps her so occupied as she’s determined to make it every piece fit.

Box and ribbons

I found this activity on Pinterest. It looked fun so I ended up making one myself. The idea is to have them reach in and pull a ribbon out. It’s meant to be a fine motor skill activity and would be perfect for ages 6 months and up. The older they get, you can teach them to pull out certain colours. The look on their little proud faces is will be worth the time making this little gem.

Bottles and lids.

I know what you’re thinking you’re leaving your baby with bottles and lids. Yes and no. I’m watching her at all times and what can I say she loves taking lids off of things. It’s pure enjoyment for her and for momma not so much, when I have to clean whatever she spilt. It can be lids off of her puff treats to water bottles. Then she’ll try to figure out how to place them back on. It’s adorable to watch and is another fine motor skills activity.

The few things that I’ve listed may sound simple but that’s what babies love. The most random inexpensive things! A friend of mine made a joke the other day “I’ll get her a case of water bottles for her birthday” trust me she loves them like most babies do! When they’re cold (for her teeth) and the crackling sound, she’s obsessed! Sometimes less is more. I’ve learned that the hard way with a collection of way too much toys!

How do you keep your little ones entertained? I’d love to know

Mom fail Fridays – I’m a sweary mom

So here’s some tea,

Mom fail Fridays are here again and it’s my second favourite ‘F word’. I didn’t realize how often I use my first favourite F word. Cursing has been apart of my vocabulary for years and in its own twisted way mixed in with sarcasm is my form of expression.

If anyone is offended by that comment they can bite me. From casual cursing in dialogues with friends to the days I lived in Ireland. It was a magical time where the words gobshite and arsehole were forms of endearment. I was in my element, to be honest it’s probably one of the reasons I loved it there so much! (there’s a lot more reasons but their sense of humour was plus)

Thinking back to when I was little I don’t remember my mother ever cursing. We were those kids on the block that weren’t allowed to watch The Simpson’s or South Park because of the foul language. Luckily enough the older we got we ended up hearing those words anyways, from our peers and even our teachers!

Although when I became pregnant the phrase “I’ll never swear around my kid” came flopping out of my trap. I became that parent to be! (The I’ll never do this with my kid parent to be) Rookie mistake! I wish I can tell myself now to that you’re a load of shite.

I honestly try my best not to swear and I even tell at my boyfriend to stop swearing too. It’s just certain words slip through cracks! Thank goodness Olessia isn’t old enough to repeat what we say. That’s a mom fail every rookie or veteran mom has. We aren’t perfect!

Do you slip up and swear around your kids? Have they repeated a curse word you’ve said before? I’d love to know, so we can laugh about it!


If you’re a judge Judy get the feck out of here 🙂

Babies & their milestones

So here’s some tea,

The years you spend focusing on yourself are long gone and the main event is the creature you created. Being a mom isn’t for the faint hearted, It’s more than just making sure everyone is clean and fed.

You constantly worry about if your child is hitting their development milestones required for his or her age group. Trust me since the day Olessia was born, it has been on my mind constantly.

Luckily Olessia was one of those babies that sped through her milestones early on from rolling over to crawling. She even had a good set of teeth by 8 months.

When people say they’re jealous I just laugh. Trust me having a baby with all those teeth isn’t fun. I say it all the time, if you got bit by this barracuda on the nipple you’d think differently.

The one thing I worried about was her waving ‘hi and bye’ which is stated should happen at the 10 month mark. Olessia didn’t seem to care about waving. Instead she rather you call her cute and wave at her. Eventually she started to wave (she’s out here looking like Queen Victoria) but she doesn’t wave very often. I thought since she did everything fast, that motor skill would come quick too. It didn’t but it did ended up coming right on schedule.

( one of the milestone chart I’ve referred too)

Every child is different, they progress at different rates and eventually they will get to the stage they need to get to.

Olessia just started taking her first steps the other day. Every day is another step which makes me cry! She’s no longer my little baby she’s becoming a toddler right before my eyes. Eh some babies walk early or later on, it’s hard to tell but there is nothing wrong with that.

One thing that bugs me is that everyone compares kids. ‘My son already is walking, my daughter is saying more words’. Congradufuckinglations this isn’t the Miss Congeniality pageant for babies. The best baby doesn’t take home a golden bottle and a cash prize of a college tuition. It’s okay for your baby to take their time developing and it’s okay if they’re fast too, it doesn’t change anything. If you’re bragging about your baby to make someone else feel bad about their own kid; you suck! That negativity isn’t welcome in our hood… motherhood!

Remember developing is hard on babies and it can cause sleepless nights when they’ve discovered something new. If you’re worried about your little ones development or something seems off, seek a medical professional. You know your little one best !


Letter to my daughter- He’s the father I never had

Dear Olessia,

One day you’ll be big enough to realize that your father would give you nothing less than the world. Since the day you were born a light has been lit in him that I’ve never seen before. I watched a man become a father. He fell in love with a girl and that girl was you.

When you’re three, pull out a chair and invite him for tea parties. He’s been waiting for them ever since he found out about you. I never had that…

When you’re five, ask him to walk you to school. His hand might be big and a bit rough but hold on tight, his grasp is the safest place I know. I never had that….

When you’re ten and someone is mean to you, talk to him. He has the best shoulders lean on and he has great advice. I never had that…

When you’re twelve and you get your first period it’s okay; send him to go get you pads. Trust me he knows what they are and he’s not grossed out by it. I never had that…

When you’re sixteen and he spoils you for your birthday. Be grateful my dear he works hard to make sure you’re taken care of. He loves you more than you know. I never had that…. (I actually got a late text saying he forgot about my birthday)

When you’re eighteen and you’re headed off to college. Call him once in a while, even just to say hello. There’s no voice he’s love to hear more than yours. I never had that….

When you’re twenty and you think you’re a grown woman don’t forget you’ll always be his little girl. I never had that….

I have never felt a father’s love like that. I felt neglected, betrayal and disappointment all my life. I was a girl seeking a father’s love that was unattainable. Your father my dear is the opposite. You will always be his top priority and the best thing he’s ever done in this world. So my dear love him, cherish and respect him. He’s a good one … I never had that.


Mom fail Fridays – they feed off our reactions

So here’s some tea,

It’s mom fail Friday! You know what that means another little story or tidbit of a fail of mine.

Children feed off of our reactions, if they hurt themselves they look to you to either cry more or stop entirely. We are our own worst enemies though, as parents we are on edge at all times. We’re keeping an eye out for any dangers lurking ahead. What we don’t realize is that our children mimic our movements, reactions and our emotions. If you are anxious or upset trust me your little one is feeling it too. I can’t count how many times I’ve been so tired at bed time and Olessia will start acting up; she feels my frustration. Funny thing is once she’s in daddy’s arms she behaves. (Seriously child you’re gunna do me like that! traitor)

My child is a thrill seeker, she will do anything to make the hair on the back of my neck stand up. She has this weird obsession on being chased. If it’s crawling around or on the bed she will race to the edge of something, just to wait for you to tense up and leap towards her to catch her. And when I say leap I mean throw my whole damn body flying in the air across the room.

(She stole a thermometer)

I’m not a worrisome parent but when she’s so close to the edge, it’s only normal to worry that she’s going to fall and bust her head open. Ugh to this little girl it’s a game though. I’ve reacted poorly way too many times now that she expects it. She will race to the edge and stop, anticipating my reaction and then laughs hysterically. Huge fail! I think I’ve created a dare devil. I should stock up on bandaids for the years ahead!

This is my first baby and I’m just learning as the days go by. Many of you probably are like ‘this is just the beginning watch’. I don’t doubt it, I will probably always be on pins and needles making sure my little one is safe. All I can do from here on out is stop overreacting. The last thing I want is for my daughter to pick up on that trait. I will let my little dare devil be the wildflower she is but I’ll always be there to catch her.

Do you overreact? Does your little one feed off your reactions? I’d love to hear some of your mom fails!


Cooking one handed

So here’s some tea,

I know I’m not the only mother that sometimes (well I mean most the time) cooks with their hands full. You can try put your baby down all you want but if your little one is upset or your significant other isn’t home yet; in your arms they go. Maybe I’m too laid back but she’s only this small once. I’ll hold her till the day she’s becomes a teenager and is grossed out by my existence.

Trust me though cooking isn’t easy when you have an active little one. If you’re not chasing them and trying to make sure they aren’t getting into anything. You’re trying to find the energy to even open the damn fridge.

Most nights I’ll find the strength to cook dinner due to the loads of caffeine in the system (just kidding… not really, caffeine is everything) Don’t get all judgey, I do put her down if I’m dealing with raw meat and cutting up things. As a mom you learn to adjust and become a master of multitasking. Breastfeeding and cooking is a skill I never knew I would have but here I am.

The other night I made a kick ass meal with just one hand. I try to be creative as possible and change up things up. The same old meals get boring after a while. Here’s this recipe for a steak marinade done on a George Forman grill.

1/3 cup Soy sauce

1/2 cup olive oil

1/3 cup fresh lemon juice

1/4 cup Worcestershire sauce

1 1/2 tablespoons garlic powder

3 tablespoons dried basil

1 1/2 tablespoons dried parsley flakes

1 teaspoon black pepper

(I may of changed a few ingredients from the original recipe because I didn’t have them)

In addition I made some parmesan asparagus on the side and some rice. I’m not going to lie to you, I used Uncle Bens rice. Not the healthiest but it was quick, easy and yummy.

I was worried about how it would turn out but it was delicious! It’s a ‘mom win’ when your one handed cooking turns out and no one gets food poisoning (long story short it was a recalled shrimp situation, we didn’t know about until it was too late)

Anyone else have to cook with one hand? Does it always turn out? Any good recipes you could share!


Baby number two?

So here’s some tea,

In the past few months I’ve had a serious fever, baby fever. It could be the fact my little one is growing up so fast and I want her to have a sibling. Or many of my mommy friends are about to pop out another one. Baby fomo, is that a thing?

Many of them were trying and some came as a sweet surprise. It makes me wonder when it’s the right time for us to have another.

If you’ve read some of my blogs, you know I’m an avid googler and I look up everything. Several internet mommies stated to wait at least 18 months then begin to try again. Which gives your body enough time to properly heal and for you adjust to motherhood. That’s fine and dandy for some but many love children close in age, which is just as awesome. Whichever you choose you make it work. Ive always wanted Olessia to have a partner in crime to take over the world with.. but what’s a good age gap?

I personally like the idea of my daughter being two years old and out of diapers before the other one arrives. That being said questions circulate in my mind as if we are ready.

How would Olessia feel sharing the attention?

Will Olessia feel neglected?

Will I be able to handle two with my boyfriend at work?

Should I work for a while before trying for another one?

How will I heal the second time around?

The uncertainty is real! Some days I believe I can handle two no problem and there are others like today where I’m so exhausted and can’t wait for bed time. Believe me when I say one baby screaming at you is hard enough. Big up to the mommas out there who have multiples or Irish twins. You’re the real ones!

I go back and forth all day long thinking about how it will affect my little one. I love my daughter and my attention is all hers. I know she loves kids and will welcome a sibling no problem but am I taking away her ‘mommy and me’ alone time too soon.

Also I’m not scared of the pregnancy aspect (which I disliked with my first) I’m quite looking forward to end result a beautiful little terror. Hopefully pregnancy would be easier this time around but I’m scared of the healing. It took me so long to finally heal, will the second be just as bad or easier? I know I’m rambling but come on, you have to admit this is a big decision to electively decide to try for another little stinker.

Don’t get me started on working though, I have an opportunity to work but I’m nervous. I don’t want to send her to daycare, I want to take care of her during these tender years but I also don’t want the financial burden on just my boyfriend. He assures me it’s fine but I’m not the type to let a man just bring home the bacon, I need to bring home some eggs and toast too! He did make a valid point though, daycare is so expensive I’d be just working to pay for it and there’s really no point. It’s sad but that’s our reality. Therefore work is up in the air right now.

Ugh the guilt that comes with making such a big decision. If you are wondering why I’m thinking so much about it, Aunt Flo has came back. After 10 months of breastfeeding with no period, it’s back. *Cue the violins* I was really loving wearing white without the sheer anxiety of looking at my butt ‘just to make sure’. Also that means no more pulling the goalie. If we are going to wait and go back to work we’d have to be cautious.

I love my little family and I’d loved another baby but coming to a decision try for another has a lot more variables than I thought.

Any moms out there expecting their second? What’s the age gap and when do you know you’re ready?

I’d love to hear for you xo